How to make tough decisions

Everyday we’re inundated with choices to make: what should I eat? What should I wear? Do I pee before or after watching this cute puppy video? Who takes the kid to school today? And for these little types of decisions, you just decide on the fly and move on with your life.

But what about the big ones? Should I take this enticing new job offer that would require me to work longer hours than my current one? Do I take the risk and apply for a loan to build my own business? Do we move forward with marriage counseling or decide to part ways?

For these bigger life decisions, having some sort of framework or litmus test helps make the decision a little easier. Now, I’m not promising that it will make life easy. But it will make it easier when you know what’s important to you and how you prioritize your life. Here is one of my favorite frameworks I like to leverage for myself and my clients when it comes to making tough decisions.

Side note: For some really tough, shitty decisions that life may throw your way, this framework may be too simple. E.g., Do I go forward with chemotherapy or not. But it still might be helpful.

Decision-Making Framework: The 10/10/10 Rule

Let’s give credit where credit is due, this strategy has an entire 272 page book written by Suzy Welch supporting it. The notion is simple, however. And in fact (giving myself a teeny bit of credit), I already did this with clients using perspectives before I learned about this rule. The idea is that when you have a decision to make, you ask yourself: What are the possible consequences and how will I feel about it:

• 10 minutes from now?
• 10 months from now?
• 10 years from now?

This allows you to free yourself from the intricacies of the here and now; something about flashing forward in time frees you up and allows you to objectively analyze the consequences as well as your feelings about something that may be hyper-triggering or emotional in the moment.

Let’s try this out. I have a decision to make on whether or not I quit my job to pursue a super risky venture.

Scenario A: you’ve decided to quit your job

• In 10 minutes, I’ll feel relief, excitement, fear, nervousness. Relief that I have finally made a decision. Excitement for something new but also fear and nervousness like “Oh no, do I have what it takes to do this?”
• In 10 months, I’ll be living extremely lean, trying to save my money while building my business. The consequences may likely be that I’ll be super stressed but also feel more fulfilled in doing something that excites me. I’ll have less financial/health/mental security.
• In 10 years, no matter if the venture was successful or not, I”ll be proud of myself for doing something I’ve always wanted to do. I may be poorer because my earning potential was lost during the years I was building my business but I’ll likely be happier that I went for it. And I’ll have set an example for my kids on pursuing the things that are important to me.

Scenario B: you’ve decided to stay at your current job

• In 10 minutes, I’ll be disappointed but also relieved that I’ve made a decision. Disappointed because I feel like I don’t have the “guts” to follow my dream and do the risky thing but relief that I don’t have to be tormented by making this decision anymore.
• In 10 months, if nothing changes in my current job, I’ll be miserable. I’ll still come back to this decision but the opportunity may be gone. I may be looking for another job.
• In 10 years, I’ll always be wondering “what if” if I don’t pursue something on my own at some point before the 10 years.

You see how that works? There’s no judgment in either scenario; whatever the decision is, this framework at least helps me to understand what my feelings and possible consequences will be. It’s another factor that can help in making the tough decision.

I hope this framework helps you in making your decisions easier. Let me know your thoughts and if you end up using it in the responses!

[psst! Did you like this article? Check out my follow-up post smartly titled: How to make tough decisions part 2]

If you enjoyed this article and want to learn more about my coaching services, feel free to reach out and schedule a chemistry call with me here.

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