This 5 minute daily exercise will not only empower you but will also increase your happiness by 9%! [read in an infomercial announcer voice].
Ok, so in all seriousness, there truly is a daily exercise you can do to shift your perspective (I’ve talked about the power of shifting perspectives here) in order to empower yourself and be happier.
In a study by Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology and author of “Flourish”, participants were asked to conduct a 10-minute exercise at the end of each day for just one week. He found that after 1 month, their happiness increased by 2%. By 6 months? Their happiness increased by 9%. Here’s the exercise:
Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down three things that went well today and why they went well. You may use a journal or your computer to write about the events, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote.
The three things don’t need to be earth shattering, in fact, I often challenge my clients to go beyond the obvious (friends, family, big events). For example, I took a walk this afternoon and bumped into an old neighbor of mine I hadn’t seen in awhile and we had a GREAT conversation. It went well because…there’s so many different reasons you can put here. I didn’t avoid him which was my first tendency or I was feeling great because we were in the outdoors and I love being outside or he’s such a thoughtful and warm human being, it was easy to speak with him or…
But you see what happens there? The possibilities become endless and forcing your brain to answer WHY they went well also physiologically changes your neural pathways (see Self-Sabotage: why we’re often our worst enemy). You start going into an upward, positive spiral versus a downward, negative spiral.
All this to say, the answer is: GRATITUDE.
So how does gratitude make me more powerful?
Being happier is one thing — I think we can all benefit from just being more grateful and having more happiness in our lives (especially with the shitshow that’s happening on this earth) — but does it really matter if we don’t actually turn this feeling into some sort of ACTION?
Here’s one personal story. Right after the 2016 election, there was one morning I stayed in bed and cried, for like hours. I just couldn’t get up. I was on my phone, reading the news, and felt so fucking depressed. What was the point? And with each depressing thought came 2 more of its companions and I spiraled into a “pit of despair” (Princess Bride fans, you got it).
What got me out of it was returning back to my value of Gratitude. I actually felt grateful that I could still be so moved (and not numb) to what was happening. And as I took a walk and thought of the things/people/events I was so grateful for, I was able to shift from feeling powerless to feeling powerful.
That day, my partner and I made an announcement to match 1:1 donations to ACLU. We ended up raising over $2,000 within a couple of hours. We then did something similar for Planned Parenthood and KIND (Kids in Need of Defense).
There’s many other examples from my own life of how gratitude allowed me to shift from despair/isolation/sadness to empowerment (see how/why I started Parent Refresh “I’m so fucking tired”). And I know I’m not alone. When my clients shift their perspectives, they end up doing some pretty amazing things!
Give it a try. For the next 14 days, spend 5 to 10 minutes identifying 3 things that went well for you that day. I challenge you to go beyond the usual things you might list (friends, family) for most of those days. And then answer the question “why” they went well.
I’d love to hear what comes up for you. You can find me on LinkedIn if you’d like to stay connected!
