Anyone else feel like the month of January has whizzed by? We are squarely into month 2 of 2024 (and a little past 2 weeks of “Quitter’s Day”) and if you find yourself feeling “behind” or losing that fresh feeling from the beginning of the year, you’re not alone.
Last month, I spent some time in different spaces with various folks asking the question “what makes goals achievable versus unachievable?” and wanted to share some findings here.
First, let’s start with discussing goals in general. “A goal is the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.” That’s pretty straightforward. Here’s the kicker: goals require 2 additional factors.
Those 2 factors are what makes goals different from a wish or a manifestation — are you actually willing to work for it? Do you have complete control over accomplishing the goal? If the answer is no to either, then you are simply making a wish.
That above may seem obvious but I usually find a disconnect in just running my clients’ goals through those factors.
For example, a common question my clients ask is “getting promoted this year” a goal? There are many factors outside of your control for this goal — your boss and other decision makers, the overall health of the company, the larger economy, etc. However, having a goal to gain the skills and experiences necessary to be ready for promotion are largely within your control and can absolutely be a goal if you’re willing to work for it. This would also require many other factors like having clear expectation-setting conversations with key decision makers, your boss, and other stakeholders of your intention for being promoted and better understanding the possibility or likelihood of this happening, etc. All of which are things that again, sometimes clients realize they don’t want to actually do, despite wanting the desired outcome of “being promoted.”
Reflection: Before you read on, I’d like to have you spend 5 minutes or so asking yourself this question. Think about real goals you have achieved and goals that you have not achieved. What made those goals achievable for you? What made those other goals unachievable? Let’s always start with you first and see what comes up.
In order to understand why goals are achievable, let’s discuss the other side — what makes goals not achievable? In my conversations with others last month, I found three main threads of common reasons:
And this is supported by research showing that common pitfalls are losing motivation, being too busy, changing our minds, and a lack of support. There is also akrasia, or “time inconsistency,” which describes the human tendency to prioritize immediate rewards over future ones.
So then on the flipside, we know what makes goals achievable. They all have:
Let’s tackle each one shall we?
My answer to the “why” piece is Values. Values are the fundamental core beliefs that guide behavior and decisions. Grounding in values helps you understand the why of your goal and makes it more likely for you to be committed. Studies have shown that the more we align our core values and principles, the more likely we are to benefit from our goal plans.
Exercise: {note: This exercise should take about 10 minutes. If you don’t have time to do it now, bookmark this and come back when you do have time.}
I want you to imagine yourself on December 31, 2024. Perhaps you’re at a New Year’s Eve party or spending the time quietly at home. It has been a truly amazing year. You have prioritized what’s most important for you and have worked really hard. You feel proud of how you showed up this year. What made this year so amazing?
Write a letter to yourself from December 31, 2024 to now. What made this year so amazing?
After you write your letter, pull out the values or common themes you see in your letter. Do you notice your letter talking a lot about travel? Family time? That promotion? Supporting social and environmental causes your really care about? Deepening connections? Feeling really healthy? Likely some of those are your values. List those values you see.
Once you identify those values, you have inherently created your why because you’re now going to create goals from those values. Choose your top 1 to 3 values and create a plan. There are a ton of tools, frameworks, and processes out there for actioning on goals. Remember that first reflection question I asked you? What do you notice about those goals you’ve achieved? What were some key factors that made you achieve those goals?
Likely, the goal was actionable, broken down into smaller steps, something you were really motivated by (either through pain of not achieving or worthy outcome for actually achieving), maybe it was fun or collaborative, had clear mile markers or ways of tracking progress…am I on the right track?
It’s got some flaws, but an easy goal framework to use is the SMART framework.
Exercise: Choose your top 1 to 3 values and make them into SMART goals. E.g., let’s take the value of adventure. Turning this value into specific goals could include trying new things, planning family vacations, or picking up a new hobby. Similarly, a value like growth could lead to goals related to personal and professional development, such as reading, taking classes, or seeking mentorship.
E.g., I want to read more books. This is important because it’s tied to my values of learning, growth, and fun.
According to the the American Society of Training and Development, meeting regularly with an accountability partner bumps up goal achievement success rate to 95%. This is huge! Do you have an accountability partner that you a) meet regularly with (every 2 weeks) and b) who will not only support you in your goals but give you thoughtful feedback. Do you serve as that person for someone else? As a coach, I usually serve as that role for my clients but I encourage my clients to ask others for that type of accountability as well. Oftentimes, just simply knowing you have to report back is enough to stay on track. If not, try out some of these other helpful tools like stickk, Streaks, Habit Nest, Strides, beeminder, or focusmate.com.
If you enjoyed this article and want to learn more about my coaching services, feel free to reach out and schedule a chemistry call with me here.
